"let them eat cake."

I know you've had one of those days.

flight attendant fury

Speaking of "much ado about nothing," Sarah Palin has issued attacks on late-night funnyman David Letterman for telling off-color jokes about her sexually promiscuous daughter, Bristol. His mistake? He didn't specifically reference Bristol by name, which gives conservatives the right to assume he was talking about her fourteen-year-old daughter. Here are the jokes, alluding to Palin's recent trip to New York City:

"The hardest part of the trip was trying to keep Eliot Spitzer away from her daughter."
"When Sarah Palin went to a Yankees game, there was one awkward moment when her daughter got knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

Now, regardless of who was actually present on this New York trip, why on Earth would the Palins assume Letterman was talking about anyone other than their oldest daughter? How would that joke even make sense if he were referring to anyone other than Bristol Palin, who has posed for magazine covers and made talk show rounds as the poster child for teen pregnancy prevention? Here's what Sarah Palin said:

"Laughter incited by sexually perverted comments made by a 62-year-old male celebrity aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting, but it reminds us some Hollywood/N.Y. entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands — that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone's daughter, contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others."

Once you've translated that to English, I think you'll see that this truly is much ado about nothing; one meager attempt to demonize the entertainment industry as a group of 62-year-old perverts in "Hollywood/N.Y." (they're basically the same place, dontcha know) who like to laugh about child abuse. Her husband Todd said, "any jokes about raping my fourteen-year-old are despicable; Alaskans know it, and I believe the rest of the world knows it too." Unfortunately, that's not what the jokes were about...he came up with that one all by himself. ;)

Both Sarah and Bristol Palin have chosen to live lives in the public eye, and it's wrong for anyone to assume they're above criticism in the media. Letterman defended himself better than I ever could have:

miss california: you're fired!

"I told Carrie she needed to get back to work and honor her contract with the Miss California USA Organization and I gave her the opportunity to do so," Trump says. "Unfortunately it just doesn't look like it is going to happen and I offered Keith [Lewis] my full support in making this decision."

[source]

"there are a lot of people at versailles today."

happy birthday, captain jack!

Dear Johnny,

Happy birthday! Turning the big 4-6 must be really exciting. I know it's your special day, and I'm sorry for forgetting to get you a present (they were fresh out of rum at the trading post and I assumed you already had enough hats, scissors, shaving cream, and chocolate), but I was hoping I could ask one small favor. Remember in the 90's, before you became a pirate, back when people weren't really recognizing all the great work you did? Yeah, um...I kinda liked that better than all the creepy, cartoonish, mildly British performances you've given over the past few years. You should do more of that sensitive, complicated stuff. Just a thought--I wouldn't want you to be accused of resting on your laurels on your birthday.

- Hayden

P.S. You should send some congratulations 'Noni's way. She's in a summer blockbuster, you know.

the curious case of benjamin stiller.

"Why so curious?" I hear a posthumous Heath Ledger sneering from his grave while Brad Pitt sits and looks pretty beneath CGI emotions. The answer is simple: Ben Stiller's career better resembles a different Batman villain whose origins can be traced in The Dark Knight: Two Face. The reasoning is simple enough for any moviegoer to discern: Ben Stiller is the keeper of two distinct and wildly different personalities onscreen.

The first, we will call Greg. We shall do this because Greg is the character Stiller has played in not one, but two, and soon to be three "Meet the Parents" installments. You may not know this, but Stiller has also played "Greg" (under the pseudonyms "Evelyn Waugh," "Ted," and "Larry") in There's Something About Mary and the Night at the Museum series. Greg is an ordinary, law-abiding, good-natured but conflicted Joe trying hard to please and not disappoint the people around him. He dresses modestly and exudes just enough charm to get himself out of sticky situations with parents, historical figures, and Cameron Diaz's hair.

The second, we will call Zoolander, simply because this Ben Stiller is "crazy outrageous" Ben Stiller, the kind of guy who can pull off a name like Zoolander (see also White Goodman in Dodgeball and Tony Perkis in Heavyweights). Zoolander is a character unlike Greg, whose larger-than-life mannerisms serve a deeper sense of vanity. While Zoolander himself is not necessarily a villain, this side of Ben Stiller's two faces is most effective in baddies who view themselves on pedestals of physical perfection. Naive? Demoralizing? Yes. Ridiculous hairstyle? Check.

2009 has already been a big year for Ben Stiller, after his 2008 writer/director/producer venture yieled numerous major nominations for that dude, playing the dude, disguised as another dude and a BFCA prize for Stiller himself. In addition, his sequel to Night at the Museum (co-starring the adorable Amy Adams) has well surpassed the $100 million mark, and he will star in The Mark Pease Experience later this year.

monday playlist

The first of my series to resume, and in timely fashion (as today is Monday!) is the Monday Playlist. I will finally catch up with the times and include my very first Lady GaGa reference, along with some older and completely random favorites on top of my iTunes at the moment.

1. "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" by Lady GaGa

2. "I'm Like a Bird" by Nelly Furtado

3. "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice

4. "A Life in the Day of Benjamin Andre" by Outkast

5. "Unknown Legend" by Neil Young

6. "Help" by The Beatles

7. "Elevator" by Hot Hot Heat

8. "Beggin" by Madcon

9. "Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas

10. "Postcards from Italy" by Beirut

i'm back! (again)

When I first stopped updating this blog (last August, although in September I took part in one of Nathaniel's "Musical-of-the-Month" blog-a-thons) I was met with a few bitter mutterings and lamentations, from those faithful readers I had come to know and love, and even from some who I had no idea had ever followed Much Ado About Nothing. I was at once flattered and slightly embarrassed by my decision to depart. 

As summer turned to fall and fall to winter, this blog lost whatever relevance it earned in its heyday, and to visit it now feels strange and foreign. After all, this is an entertainment blog without a single mention of Lady GaGa, Kate Winslet's Oscar win, Susan Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire, or the leaked copy of Wolverine. The content is leftover from the time of George Dubya, for chrissake. 

My point, one that I intend to make with apology and hope, is this: despite my decision to continue my Thursday Top 50 at InReview Online, I will resume my post today. In this shortage of bread, my readers have had plenty of cake to eat among the many more faithful and talented bloggers than yours truly. However, please join in the fun as I continue making much ado about nothing. 

XOXO Hayden

it's all greek to me.

Hey there, guys. I'm returning from my FIROnline hibernation to participate in Nathaniel's Musical-of-the-Month blog-a-thon over at The Film Experience. Now, I know we all love Little Shop of Horrors, from the camp-tastic special effects to Ellen Greene's shrill pre-fab life goals to witnessing the now-forgotten career of Rick Moranis. It doesn't get much better than watching Bill Murray as the masochistic dental patient or Steve Martin, stealing scenes Baby-Mama-style as the token nutjob boyfriend.

However, what is it that draws the viewer in during this marvelously-paced opening sequence?



The Greek chorus, silly! For those of us unfamiliar with this term, let's refresh:

Greek chorus (n.)
A company of actors who comment (by speaking or singing in unison) on the action in a classical Greek play

In olden times, when Greco-Roman amphitheaters showcased the works of Homer, Sophocles, and Jerry Seinfeld, mask-clad chorus folk would fill in gaps in the storyline, provide background information, or, set the scene, if you will. In Little Shop, the funky trio of Crystal, Chiffon and Ronnette show up occasionally to provide a recap, sometimes even commentary, on the direction of the plot. Where have we seen this before?

1. Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
There's nothing subtle about Woody Allen's Greek revival:

2. Hercules (1997)
Methinks someone consulted Little Shop when they thought up the idea of casting a series of soul sisters as the spunky Muses. And, boy, did they have spunk. That's the gospel truth.




3. "Lizzie McGuire" (2001-2004)
Hilary Duff's conscience always had something to say:

4. "The Muppets"
Statler and Waldorf have become almost synonymous with disruptive commentary:



So, whatever kind of chorus tickles your fancy the Greeks are everywhere, adding their two cents wherever they see fit.

And now, time for my shameless plug: Much Ado About Nothing is currently taking a break, but I've been writing for InReview Online (fironline.net). I'll be continuing my Thursday Top 50 over there, so check out last week's review of Before Sunset and anticipate this week's installment--Truffaut's Fahrenheit-451. Thanks!

okay guys...

...I'm planning a bit of a hiatus from my blog as I rethink a few things about format and content. I just accepted an offer to write for InReview Online, (www.fironline.net) which is a budding review site with a lot of style and spunk, and I'm kind of interested to see how that goes. I'll be doing weekly reviews so check my profile there for updates. I'm sorry to disappoint my loyal readers because you're all really great--I'm just not sure how I want to budget my time at this point.

Just remember. This isn't goodbye. :)

madonna and belinda carlisle turn 50 today.

And while they celebrate, Cyndi Lauper is somewhere ripping her hair out:



I'm really sorry for sharing this. It's that atrocious.

thursday top 50: the age of innocence

To call Martin Scorsese a romatic would be as strange as calling Tim Burton a realist. We know he has shaped his screen reputation as the endearing little mastermind with thick frames and eyebrows behind classic gritty, macho films like The Departed, Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, and Goodfellas. Scorsese films generally aren't date movies or plush period pieces (even The Gangs of New York had a hard edge to its olden stylings) but his resume isn't without deviation from the norm. He likes to experiment, to do the unexpected when called to a project like a rock doc, or, once upon a time, a period romance.

One word you'd never expect to hear used in the same sentence as "Martin Scorsese" is "innocence." But even bad boys fall in love sometimes. Now, I'm sure Marty took some flack from the gang, but sometimes great source material (in this case, a brilliant adaptation of Edith Wharton's classic novel) can prove too comely to resist. Like watching a football player train with ballet, sometimes directing a period romance is a necessary exercise in form and style. Sometimes a Danny needs a Sandy, and that's all there is to it.

So it comes as no surprise that when selecting an actress to play the icy, mysterious Countess Ellen Olenska, the one that he wanted was a cool rider, one Michelle Pfeiffer. She had already flexed her period chops with her Oscar-nominated role in Dangerous Liaisons (#25 on my megalist), come oh-so-close to beating Jessica Tandy for The Fabulous Baker Boys and was fresh off her major roles in 1992: her iconic Catwoman in Batman Returns and her Oscar-nominated Kennedy enthusiast in Love Field. The hottest thing of the early 90's, and, for some of us, all time, Pfeiffer's career looked to be on the upward swing. Could this bring her gold?

La Pfeiffer: Meow.

So here we are in 1993. Big things happen in 1993; 10% of my top 50 comes from this year, and it brings us great work from all branches of the Academy, from Steven Spielberg to Emma Thompson to Holly Hunter to the great Anthony Hopkins. But of that hyper-productive acting branch, it was Daniel Day-Lewis (who gave a thundering performance in In the Name of the Father) Scorsese wanted as his sturdy leading man. And, who better than early-90's it girl Winona Ryder to play the ingenue?

Anyway, the plot centers around New York society in the late 19th century, and Day-Lewis plays a successful bachelor torn between two women: May Welland, his well-bred, sweet-faced fiance, and Ellen, the exotic, sophisticated countess-turned-social-pariah due to her rocky marriage and mysterious past. Things are, of course, not as innocent as they seem as we travel through several of Dante Feretti's most outstanding sets with the guidance of Joanne Woodward, our trusty narrator.

Easily Day-Lewis' most understated role, he was able to convey inner conflict and guilt without the showmanship of his "louder" performances in There Will Be Blood, The Gangs of New York, and In the Name of the Father. He maintains a stately composure that really reflects subculture at hand. It's a lot more fun to see Winona play feistier roles but she worked out a solid performance that led to an Oscar nod. However, of the trio, it's La Pfeiff who truly stands out--she captures the essence of a confused woman teetering on the edge of confidence and insecurity, sexuality and a need for companionship. No one can play "guarded" as well as she can, and Countess Olenska's defenses are tougher than Fort Knox. All the better to watch them crumble.

And so, Marty's descent into the world of costume drama is, in my opinion, his best effort: a masterpiece in pacing, acting, and aesthetics. This switch-hitter really hit a home run.

Next week: Before Sunset
Previously: Beauty and the Beast, Sideways
Full List

monday playlist

1. "Sad Songs Say So Much" by Elton John
2. "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel
3. "Runaway Train" by The Gin Blossoms
4. "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac
5. "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles
6. "Look Up" by Toni Collette and the Finish
7. "Bette Davis Eyes" by Gwyneth Paltrow
8. "Good Morning" by Kanye West
9. "Goodnight Moon" by Shivaree
10. "Dashboard" by Modest Mouse

you could cut the tension with a knife.

Michelle and Daniel can't wait until next week's installment of the Thursday Top 50. These kids were born exactly a year apart, making the age of innocence somewhere between 50 and 51.

tina fey the feminist

I just finished reading an outdated Entertainment Weekly review for this spring's Baby Mama and a certain chunk of text really got my attention:

More than any other woman working in comedy today, Tina Fey has figured out how to charm men while speaking sisterly truth in a frequency heard only by other women. That's an awesome skill, and with it comes awesome power. Forthright yet inclusive, tough yet effortlessly feminine, an alumna of SNL and the creator of a brilliant hit network sitcom, she has the means to affect our nation's political discourse with a waggle of her trademark brainy-babe eyeglasses and one well-placed declaration. ''Bitch is the new black'' will do for starters...Every inch a woman who conveys an ease in her own skin, she has become a madame comedy ambassador of her sex, able to negotiate with the big boys, then relate the experience in a way that has the smart girls hooting with knowing laughter. [source]

The phrase that jumped out at me most was that she speaks "sisterly truth." I've been a fan of Fey's for a long time without consciously realizing this side of her persona. She's all about the "sisterly truth." Since her famed ascent to the top of the "boys club" of SNL writers, she's really built her career around the concept of being a woman in a man's world. As Liz Lemon fights sexual stereotypes on 30 Rock and consoles Jenna when her stint on Broadway brings body-image issues, she's constantly a representative of her sex that's able to communicate with men.

I can't think of another actress who's so effortlessly, even subliminally, feminist.

how 'bout that opening ceremony?

The Beijing Opening Ceremony to the XXIX Olympiad is by far the best I remember seeing, even beating Sydney (which I remember really loving when I was 9). I can't even begin to fathom how such a spectacular event can come together, but whoever orchestrated that monster deserves some major props. It's the kind of show that really stretched the limits of human possibility, in my opinion. Here are some of my favorite shots:

[image source]

For more rambling on the momentous ceremony, check out Nathaniel's recent post over at The Film Experience.

today's the day...

Yep. After all of those development hurdles regarding human rights and Darfur and Tibet, China's ready to host the Olympics. So now, a few questions remain:

• Whom are you rooting for this year?
• What are you watching?
• Aren't you excited?

thursday top 50: sideways

I continue my countdown of my 50 favorite films of all time with a bottle from my private selection: Alexander Payne's 2004 foray into the world of California wine country. This gem of an indie flick soared through the glass ceiling broken by Lost In Translation in the aught trend of "little indies that could." Since then we've seen the overwrought Crash, the delightful Little Miss Sunshine, and, most recently, the insufferable Juno banking their indie cred with the AMPAS.

Anyway, trends come and go, but understated brilliance is forever. These are my "all-time" favorites, not my "favorites of right now." And fittingly, Sideways is not hip or gimmicky ("That ain't no Etch-a-Sketch, homeskillet. That's one doodle that can't be undid!"). The market for witty adult dramedy is slim, and Sideways doesn't cheat with attempts at commercialization or pandering to a younger audience. It doesn't pack a lot of star power. It doesn't look glossy and there's no lovable VW Bus gag to entertain the kids. It's very much a comedy for adults, by adults, with adults.

Adapted from Rex Pickett's novel about a pair of best friends' excursion through wine country amid several levels of midlife crisis, Payne's Oscar-winning script is gripping such that he keeps his audience on a short leash. From the very beginning we're confronted with a tinge of melancholy that hooks us on the central character, Miles. From there, Payne's pacing allows us to be jerked in any emotional direction the story is taken--from the hysterical to the heartbreaking.

This power is only enhanced by the performances, from the reliable Paul Giamatti whose role fits like a glove, to the baudy Thomas Haden Church, to the radiant Virginia Madsen, who plays Maya, Miles' love interest along the way. Madsen is the standout in the cast for me; she emotes this kind of serene radiance that is by far one of the most organic, natural performances I've ever seen. And who'd've thunk such a washed-up 80's sex symbol could experience such a redemptive career high by playing a quiet role with no makeup? It's glorious.

Sideways is as much a film for wine as it is about wine; the story maintains a strong reverence for its subject and even mirrors it in times, insofar as Sideways is a mature, dry, rich film filled with character and made to be enjoyed by adults looking for a little bit of understated elegance. But we're reminded never to get lost in decadence or style, as Maya's character earthily reminds us that sometimes even the finest beverage is born from a little bit of heart:

I like to think about what was going on the year the grapes were growing; how the sun was shining; if it rained. I like to think about all the people who tended and picked the grapes. And if it's an old wine, how many of them must be dead by now. I like how wine continues to evolve, like if I opened a bottle of wine today it would taste different than if I'd opened it on any other day, because a bottle of wine is actually alive. And it's constantly evolving and gaining complexity. That is, until it peaks, like your '61. And then it begins its steady, inevitable decline.

Bravo, Mr. Payne. Bravo.

Next week: The Age of Innocence.
Previously: Beauty and the Beast
Full List

get well soon, morgan freeman!

I'm sure most of us have already heard that acting legend Morgan Freeman was in a severe car accident Sunday night, and I wanted to extend my personal get-well wishes. Those who read early reports might have been terrified by the on-the-record "serious" condition the actor was in after his car rolled several times, but these have been clarified--he's actually recovering from injuries sustained by his left arm and shoulder. Gosh. I could honestly listen to this man read the phonebook.

For more information on his recovery, you can check the AP article.

the fratellis

In conjunction with today's installment of the Monday Playlist, I'm going to spotlight one of my favorite bands of right now whose semi-new album, Here We Stand, is on heavy rotation on my iPod. Don't feel bad. On paper, the band name threw me off at first, too--it's the Fratelli's, not the fra-tell-is. Think of an Italian restaurant or a mob family or something. Maybe even a type of noodle.

Fratelli is indeed a last name, as the Scottish trio hails from the same clan in the land of pubs and sheep. Fun fact: the word fratelli allegedly means "brother" in Italian. I'm pretty sure that's true. You can check my facts for accuracy if you don't trust me. They're kind of like the Jonas Brothers you'd find downing pints, but that doesn't mean they lack pop sensibilities.

Anyway, once one gets over that initial hurdle, you'll see that there's very little Italian influence to speak of in the band's sound. In fact, their greatest debts should be paid to David Bowie or The Clash, among other classic Brit-pop acts. It's been said that the Fratellis don't bring anything new to the whole Brit-pop movement, rather that they're a recycled, synthesized form of many other musicians within that category. I don't care. They're amazing.

monday playlist.

Yep, it's that time of the week again. I'd be interested in hearing some more feedback about my premiere of the Thursday Top 50 blog series, so take your time. The top ten songs of the moment are:

1. "Indestructible" by Matisyahu
2. "A Heady Tale" by The Fratellis
3. "Say You Love Me" by Fleetwood Mac
4. "We Can Still Belong Together" by Lisa Loeb
5. "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow
6. "One" by U2
7. "She's So High" by Tal Bachman
8. "Sailor Girl" by The Shins
9. "Runaway Train" by Soul Asylum
10. "Somebody to Love" by Queen



And, as is becoming customary, I encourage you to share your favorite songs of the moment. Let's hear 'em.

2 junior novels everyone needs to read

Tuck Everlasting by Natalie Babbit
The Gist: Winnie Foster is a daughter of wealth living behind the bars of her ivory-towerlike front yard in the old, fictional town of Treegap. An excursion outside her pen exposes a family living in her father's wood, all of whom have drunk from a secret spring which grants immortality to those who stumble upon it thirsty. Winnie is tempted by love to drink from the spring, but the Tuck family tries its hardest to dissuade her from upsetting the national cycle of life and death. What ensues is a moving, beautifully written story that confronts the issue of death with grace.

Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH by Robert C. O'Brien
The Gist: Mrs. Frisby is a widowed field mouse living in an overturned cinder block. When her son, Timothy, falls ill, the Frisby family's regular move to safety during tilling season is halted. Her husband, Jonathan, died with lots of secrets, and with nowhere to turn, Mrs. Frisby asks a colony of rats for help. Little does she know the deep connection her husband shared with the technically-advanced race, and each step she takes toward learning the truth about her husband brings her closer to preserving the most important thing in her life--her family. What could have been a throwaway sci-fi novel becomes a classy examination of honor, friendship, and duty.


Warning: See neither movie. Both are terrible.

rachel getting married trailer drops.

(formerly Dancing with Shiva) Check it out here.

I've been waiting a really long time for this. I love Jonathan Demme and it's exciting to see him working with one of my favorite young stars. This is sure to be a huge career moment for Anne Hathaway, whom I absolutely love. I knew she'd be great, but her performance looks like it might exceed my highest hopes.

I'm sooooo happy right now.